my idiosyncrasies

my idiosyncrasy. why? i don't really understand it myself but i have to do it. today ends a long chapter in my life. tomorrow i choose to begin anew. i need it more than you know. i'm tired. sick and tired of going around in circles and ending up no where. my father told me last night that i like to procrastinate. maybe i like procrastinating. i don't know. this journey i start tomorrow, i call it a pilgrimage. i have chosen to give up the current life i lead. cut myself off from my usual duties. don't get me wrong. i'm not giving up my life for good. its just for a while so that i can focus on the important things in my life and get back in focus of what i want to achieve in my life. i cannot go on wondering "what if". i cannot go on if i have no purpose. so i guess, for the next month or two i'll be gone. no more rock climbing, hanging out late or clubbing. i shall also abstain myself from cigarettes. yes, thats right. i know i've said it before that i want to quit. i know its not easy quitting. but i need to try. i feel like i need to cleanse my insides. clean it of all toxins and crap that i've stuffed myself with over the years. so i bid you farwell. this is my idiosyncrasy.